I know I "deserve" to be happy and not alone, but often I'd rather want to have someone to be sad with together.
Someone to listen to my favorite sad love songs, cuddle and cry together.

Soll ich SIE kontaktieren um sie zu fragen, ob es sie stört, wenn ich wieder bei FFF anfange?

Eigentlich hat sie geschrieben, dass sie absolut keinen Kontakt mehr will, aber meine Therapeutin drängt mich, wieder zu FFF zu gehen und ich will sie zumindest vorwarnen.

Ich würde ihr natürlich weitestgehend aus dem Weg gehen.

is down for a day and everybody is talking about it. I'm down for 2 years now and nobody seems to care.

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My therapist and me we are in a bit of a disagreement.

She believes that I have a distorted picture of my time with HER, that it wasn't all good and that I'm undeservedly putting HER on a pedestal.

I on the other hand believe I'm thinking completely rational when I say, that my time with HER was heaven and I never before experienced anything like it and probably never will again.

My therapist tells me I should think about everything that was bad, when I get sad that the good times are over, but thinking about the negative things just makes me more depressed.

In one point though I agree with my therapist: I have to acknowledge that it's over. After all SHE made that abundantly clear.
But my main motivation to get better is still that then I might again be able to be friends with HER.


I got at least 3 medical diagnoses with the acronym SAD:

Seasonal affective disorder
Separation anxiety disorder
Social anxiety disorder

Was ist schuld an meiner ?

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If I did a pros and cons list of myself it would clearly tell me to commit .


Also, weiter gehts. Heute hab ich wegen der Tagesklinik angerufen und die Ärztin hat mir davon abgeraten, da ich da schon mal war und was neues probieren soll. Und für akute Behandlung wäre ich ja noch immer nicht akut genug.
Sie hat mir die Psychiatrie in Ybbs empfohlen. Dort habe ich gerade angerufen und die werden mich zurückrufen, sobald es einen Termin für ein Vorgespräch gibt. Das wird aber nicht vor Oktober sein.

Irgendwie geht es mir jetzt besser, weil ich Aussicht auf eine langfristige (bis zu 3 Monate) und gezielte (Station ist für Persönlichkeitsstörungen) Behandlung habe, aber (sub)akut ist mir trotzdem nicht geholfen.

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mh-, but maybe some hope 

My psychiatrist just talked me out of going to the psych ward. She believes that my down yesterday was because I missed a dose of Tamafanil the night before.
If that is the case and I'll be better again when I take it then all is well, but if not and tonight will be hell again I'll go to the psych ward on Thursday after my therapy at the latest.
My psychiatrist also told me to take Temesta for the next days to get rid of my thoughts.

mh-, morbid 

I wish I had a deadly disease and could guilt her to talk to me again and cuddle with me one more time. I'd happily die then.

Wäre jemensch interessiert an einem Text (Buch, Blog, ...) über meine Erfahrungen mit , , abhängiger , , , ...

Ich hab das alles, so wies aussieht, einigermaßen überstanden und vielleicht hilft so ein Text ja anderen.

What's up?

cost of living
gender pay gap

the wealths of the wealthiest

No, I meant, how are you?

Bad! Thanks for asking.

Can someone recommend a good ?
I never used one before, but I think it's a good idea if I start to do so, as right now about 95% of texts I'd like to read I end up not reading, because I can't motivate myself, because of my and my .

Corona high risk group: the mentally ill 

Friendly reminder that as might be getting worse again in your country, mentally ill people are again at high risk for breakdowns.

I barely made it through the first lockdown in Austria myself and am still in a deep . If there will be another lockdown tbh. I don't think I'll survive it.

So please don't just practice social distancing, but also distant socializing, with all the people who are important to you, so they don't have the feeling that they are all alone.

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