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My brother-in-law is extremely "developmentally delayed". He's 22, but still around early high school level for his capability.

He has a that is supposed to manage his money, and a worker that is supposed to help him with appointments, filling out forms, grocery shopping, etc.

In addition to discovering he was still without any legal ID (4 years after the trustee assured us she would take him), last week we discovered that he hasn't had any contact with his trustee (who has admitted to regularly steals from her autistic son's cheques) for over 2 years, and has been left to his own devices. Although he has had some contact with his worker, COVID protocols prevent them from doing a lot of the stuff they're hired to do.

As a result, his disability income has apparently been disappearing by midmonth, and he's been mooching off his brother for leftovers. He also was down to just 1 set of clothes, and a surprisingly long list of other issues.

We knew none of this because they don't answer phone calls and any text messages are single word responses. Think: How's it going? "Good." What are you eating? "Sandwich." What are you up to? "Gaming."

Anyhow, now that we know, we've started to step in to help.

First, he let us have a copy of his bank statements for the previous 120 days, so we could see where his money was going and help him build a budget. He even agreed to have a copy of the statements forwarded directly to us.

I analyzed the data and some not so big surprises:
* 30% of income going toward xbox/playstation/computer gaming
* 10% of income going to Bank & ATM fees
* 33% of income going to Rent
* 7% to Phone & Internet
* 20% to Dining Out, Corner Store "groceries", mystery charges

Yeah, no wonder he's in trouble...

We brought him to get his ID, and it was all done within about 45 minutes. Then we went and picked him up 5 new shirts, 5 new pants, underwear & socks... We'll need to ask him what he has for fall/winter wear...

Later today, we're bringing him over for food & laundry. We'll also be presenting him with a budget and giving him a trio of grocery options.

1. We can take him for a trip of groceries weekly, letting him take the lead, but keeping him within his budget.
2. He can give us a list of what he would like, and we can pick it up for him, again, within his budged.
3. The most extreme option, he provides us with the money, we stock him for breakfast stuff he can make himself, and we premake 62 meals for him that he can just reheat.

I like #2, I think he'll be tempted by #1, but I think what he probably needs is #3.

Bi-weekly meals with us, so he can get his laundry done, should help too. Especially as it will free up whatever he's been paying at the laundromat he's had to walk several blocks to get to.

Hopefully he's willing to accept our guidance. We're going to be the 1st people helping him out that really don't expect anything in return, and he knows that, but getting over years of abuse & neglect by others is going to be a significant hurdle.

Wish us luck. It's going to be quite a challenge.

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